FAMILY VALUES

EDUCARE SEVEN

“The character of the children must be made strong and pure. Give them all the confidence and courage they need to become good, honest, and self-reliant children. It is not enough if they learn something by which they can make a living. The manner of living is more important than the standard of living” Sai Baba

WHAT BABA SAYS ABOUT PARENTS

If children are to conduct themselves properly, the parents have to set the right example. Unfortunately, even though many of the parents might be educated, wealthy and interested in Bharatiya culture, their practical conduct is not exemplary. This is the reason why most children go astray. All parents want their children to get a good education, good jobs and earn high incomes. But few of them want that they should grow into ideal citizens. In some instances, where the children have developed some spiritual interests, the parents try to discourage them. There are parents who behave like Hiranyakasipu and take their children to task for their interest in spiritual practices at such an early age. Nor is that all. Some of them even try to cover up the bad behavior of their children by pretending that they are well behaved. They make no effort to correct the children and turn them towards the right path. Because of this attitude of the parents, the children are taking to bad ways and are spoilt like Dhritarashtra's children (the Kauravas). The children are not to blame. It is the parents who are responsible for the children’s misbehavior, which is reflected in indiscipline in educational institutions.

It is the duty of parents to sow the seeds of spirituality in the children from their early years. They should not think that parental responsibilities end with sending the children to school or college. They have a duty to see that the children grow into worthy citizens of the country.

Great men like Sankaracharya, Vivekananda and Mahatma Gandhi became ideal men because of the example set by their parents in their daily lives. When the parents lead upright lives, the children will follow them. Hence, parents as well as teachers should serve as ideal examples to the students. From all the enquiries I have made, I have found it is the parents who are spoiling the children. Their affection for the children is totally misconceived. They should realise that those good qualities which are instilled in the children when they are young, alone will stand them in good stead all their lives.

Discipline is the mark of intelligent living. Parents should not allow children to fall away from their control, and wander about without compass or anchor. Many parents feed and fondle their children, and then, in the name of freedom, leave them to find their own friends and pleasures. They take them to films regardless of the impression they create on their tender minds. They entertain the friends of their children, but, do not inquire their antecedents or habits. They even encourage their children to smoke and drink, not knowing they will one day have to rue their action. They thus declare by their actions that they are the enemies of their own progeny!

WHAT BABA SAYS ABOUT CHILDREN

“I like children; I take great care of them; I pay them great attention. I give, and advise parents to give them, proper advice at the proper time. I insist on discipline, on reverent obedience to parents, on regulated food and play, on rigorous allocation of time for study, bhajan, meditation, etc. I also recommend some items of service, like nursing the sick. I condemn frivolous talk, luxurious living, deleterious habits, addiction to films, horror-comics, pen-friends, exotic dress, outlandish coiffures designed to draw attention to oneself etc. By these means, boys and girls are slowly drawn into unrighteous and immoral ways.”

“I always stress the Vedhic injunction: Maathru dhevo bhava (consider mother as God), Pithru devo bhava (consider father as God).”

“Discipline trains you to put up with disappointments; you will know that the path of life has both ups and downs, that every rose has its thorn. Now, people want roses without thorns, life has to be one saga of sensual pleasure, a picnic all the time. When this does not happen, you turn wild and start blaming others. If each one cares for his own pleasures how can society progress? How can the weak survive? Mine, not thine, this sense of greed is the root of all evil. This distinction is applied even to God! My God, not yours! Your God, not mine!”

“Together with your studies, cultivate humility and reverence, and learn to conduct yourselves in an exemplary manner. Without morality, society will be ruined. Hence, by leading moral lives, foster the well-being of the nation. This is the sacrifice you have to perform. Do not lead a life of selfishness. Money comes and goes. Morality comes and grows.”

“The path of righteousness may be strewn with obstacles. Do not bother about them. Act according to your conscience in all circumstances.”

“You must be shining examples of humility and reverence before them. You must by your behavior bring good name to the parents, who pray that their children must live without distress or dishonor.”

“Life has to be spent in accumulating virtue and safeguarding virtue, not riches. Listen and ruminate over the stories of the great moral heroes of the past, so that their ideals may be imprinted on your hearts. Virtue is becoming rare, nowadays, in the individual and in the family, society and community, in all fields of life, economic, political and even spiritual. So also, there is a decline in discipline, which is the soil on which virtue grows.”

“Develop self-confidence. Under any circumstances uphold your self-respect. What is the use of living a life bereft of these two? You may not have money or strength and you may be put to disrepute, but always maintain your self-respect. Abraham Lincoln lived a life of self-respect under all circumstances. His mother taught him, People may mock at you and ridicule you but never be perturbed. Always keep up your self-respect. Lincoln followed her teachings implicitly. He studied under streetlights as there was no light at home. Ultimately, he became the President of America. It was only because of his self-confidence and self-respect that he could occupy such an exalted position.”